Let's look at some examples of what the sports world would look like if the same principles liberals wish to apply to our government applied to sports.
1) The Windfall Bating Average Tax
Alex Rodriquez, Manny Ramirez, and Albert Pujols are 3 of the best hitters of all time. They have devoted their lives to being the best at what they do. From a very young age they have spent countless hours practicing and honing their craft. They have lifted thousands of pounds of weights, and participated in thousands of drills for hand-eye coordination improvement. They have worked themselves to exhaustion in the batting cage. They have studies video and reviewed scouting reports until their eyes glazed over. They have made sacrifices to be the best. When others were relaxing, they were working to get better. This tremendous amount of work, plus the good fortune of some level of God-given talent has paved the way for them to be listed with the greats of the game, and to eventually be enshrined into the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. They are without a doubt amount the best at what they do.
However, according to liberal principles, their level of achievement is not fair to many of the other players who are not as good. Therefore, Major League Baseball will institute a Windfall Bating Average Tax. This is how the tax will work: Every player that has a batting average above .300 will be deducted 1 strike. This strike will be given to every player with a batting average below .250. Since the vast majority of player have a batting average that falls between .250 and .300, this tax will only impact a relatively small number of players. With this new tax, players batting under .250 will get 4 strikes per at bat, while players batting over .300 will only get 2 strikes per at bat.
2) The "Spread the Wealth" Act
This act is inspired by Barack Obama's "spread the wealth" quote in his conversation with "Joe the Plumber". The New York Yankees have 26 World Series championships. That's 16 more than the second place team (St. Louis Cardinals with 10)! The Yankees definitely need to spread the wealth. It's totally unfair that they have done all the things necessary to bring 26 championships to their fans, while teams like the Tampa Bay Rays have none.
In 2009, MLB will be awarding an honorary World Series Championship to the Tampa Bay Rays. Celebrate Tampa! Your team did not earn it, but we know deep down inside you really, really wanted a World Series championship.
3) From "Dream Ticket" To "Dream Team"
Even with the occasional stumble, USA basketball is recognized around the world as the standard for high quality play. It is not uncommon for Team USA to blow teams out by 30 or more points. This display of domination could cause angst in teams from other countries. It is not fair that the USA is blessed with so many resources while the rest of the world suffers. We need to understand the plight of these nations, and instead of demolishing these teams, we need to learn to be our brother's keepers. Therefore, Team USA will agree to face these teams on "equal terms". To make the terms equal, Team USA will hereby spot every team 15 points at the start of every game. This will hopefully appease the basketball extremists from other countries that may refuse to play Team USA, or worst, possibly engage in "dirty play" (hard fouls, grabbing, etc.) against team USA.
4) The Travis Knight Rule
Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball in 1947. However, since that time the pendulum in all major American sports has swung considerably in the other direction. Even though African Americans make up less than 15% of the population, the players that make up the NBA are approximately 83% African American. The whites that make up some of the remaining 17% are often from European countries. The NFL also has a high percentage of African American players, and MLB is filled with Latin players.
I understand that teams try to field the best players, regardless of background, in order to give them the best chance to win. However, where does that leave diversity? Diversity, not skill or qualifications, is much more critical to creating a team. Therefore, in the name of diversity, starting in 2009 the following requirements will be added to the lineups of the 3 major team sports in the USA:
NBA:
The NBA will be required to start 2 white players, 1 Asian player, and 1 Hispanic/Latin player. This leaves one remaining wildcard spot, which will likely go to an African American player. This line up will better reflect the make up of America, and will truly be a diverse team. After all, Democrats want a presidential cabinet that "looks like America". Shouldn't your starting line up look like America?
Baseball has plenty of white players, and plenty of Latin players, and a growing number of Asian players coming over from Japan. However, MLB is still short on African American players. Additionally, with 9 positions per team instead of 5 as in basketball, baseball has a greater opportunity for diversity. Therefore, MLB needs to consider players of Indian origin (they can tap into the cricket leagues), and Middle Eastern origin. Therefore, MLB will be required to field a team with 2 white players, 2 black players, 2 Latin players, 1 Asian, 1 Indian player, and 1 Middle Eastern player.
NFL:
With 11 positions on offense, 11 positions on defense, and 11 positions on special teams, plus many bench positions, the NFL is a treasure chest of diversity opportunity. Sadly, today the NFL is disproportionally filled with players of African American origin, with many white American players. There are almost zero players of any other background. Since there are so many available positions in the NFL, the NFL can be the champion of diversity. Although the details have not been worked out yet, the NFL will definitely be required to increase the percentage of white players, as well as integrate players from dozens of different countries.
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Liberalism is the triumph of emotion over reason. Any logical person can see the absurdity of the above scenarios. However, all of these ideas are pushed upon our government by liberals, mostly in the name of fairness. Liberals are at war with unfairness. There is this warped feeling that there should be absolutely no hardships to be overcome in the world. Every hardship is labeled as unfair. Liberals scream "Unfair!" at every difficult situation like a kid on the school yard crying when they lose a kickball game.
Whenever liberal ideology is applied to something outside of government (parenting, sports, etc.) the illogical nature of it is clear. However, when it comes to government, emotion takes over the liberal mind and logic goes out the window.
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